Good girl gone bad~

You ask for it..

Easy for a good girl to go bad, and once we gone bad..best believe we gone forever...

(I heart this song!!)

My Mama said....

This morning..I had a long talk with my mum...

We are talking about guys..yes..we do talk about our feelings..share knowledge about guys..since I guess my mum know a lot about them than I do kot..I love having this kind of conversation with mama..eventho I am very close with my dad than mama..but still, when it comes to girls talk..I always turn to mama..I am lucky to have you..kan mama??LOVE YOU MAMA~

This morning mama said,

mama: When am I going to get a menantu??your frens mostly da engage...when is ur turn??when r u goin to knl kan mama to that special sum1??

me: Ooo..please not this question again...you keep on asking the same question ok...all I can say..one day mama...(whom am I suppose to knl kan to u mama??Bee??in ur dream...)

mama: What kind a guy yg u r looking for??Don't be too choosy ok...

me: am not choosy...but I do have to choose sum1 yg can take a good care of me kn...marriage is a gamble..so I have to choose right...

mama: Well...no one knows..what future holds..we have to create our own future..when I first met ur baba...I never know that he is the one...but I have to make a decision..Do I really want to spend the rest of my life with him??Alhamdulillah..it turn out to be great for me...eventho I'm not really in love with him when I first met him...but I am proud to say now..I am truly madly deeply in love with him....So you see here...you don't have to be in love with a guy to marry him...but you have to see and to know..whether he has that husband quality or not...love will always be there...it is not that hard to fall in love...(So true...I am easily in love sumtimes...)

me: (terlopong)sdg contemplate all the words...

mama: You see here...there is lots of guys out there...to choose??who the hell are we to choose??just have faith...pray to ALLAH..one day..that special sum1 will come...

me: (dlm hati...ya..I am so tired of suffering...what's done is done..enough...)

See...why am I making things complicated sdgkan..it is easy as ABC...kuatkan hati..have faith...pray a lot...things are going to fall into place...^_^

You are so yesterday~

You are so yesterday??So not true..yes I am mad at you now..but I know..once u call me esok..everything going to be okay...and I'm going to end up lepaking with you just like the other days...betul kan??

Yes..am not that strong to walk away..not just yet..one day okay??just hold on tight...I'm cool..you are cool with it..so..we just wait and see..I know you don't want know..and I don't want to know about it as well..just let us hurt each other n love each other as we always did..

Good luck

Sometimes

Sometimes the least expected person can actually came back into our life kan??

Sometimes we tend to make mistake over n over again....

Sometimes we just won't listen to what people keeps telling us...

Sometimes the world is against us...but still it won't stop us to do things we want...

Sometimes life is unfair...

Sometimes people are so judgemental...

Sometimes I wish I can escape life....

Sometimes it is better this way..

Sometimes forget sounds good..but I can't...

Sometimes I don't like to think..but I did....

And lots of time, LOVE hurts..BIG TIME!!

It makes me wonder..who need LOVE when OXYGEN is much more important??


I know...Sometimes I think too much..more than I should...okay..Brain shut down please.....

Things to do...........

Book flight ticket...

Buy a new bag...

Buy a new lipstick....

Buy a new heels...

Need to pay ASTRO bills and duet kete

Need to confirm make up session with Fiqa

Need to go fitting session...again...sigh~

Go get my hair perm....

Need to eat less..(when I eat like a hog every single day...takut tak muat dress okay!!)

Go buy stocks of kerepek for office..(credit to Abg Mawi)

Owh...need to merajuk with YOU at least for 2days without any sms/calls/dating..(Don't think I'm capable of it...sigh~been listening to 'Lady Antebellum' song's saying that I need you now...damn!!)

Okay chill...keras hati please.....Jom tido...esok sambung....Nite!!

Happy 55th anniversary............

My daddy@papito@baba...had turn 55 last Friday....May ALLAH bless you always baba!!

But, I was quite sad..since I can't celebrate his birthday...as he is not in KL now...was very frustrated as well as we can't watch our favourite team to play in world cup sama2....

Luckily I did get him a present..as usual..a new perfume for him..this year I manage to bought him a SELVATORE FERAGAMORE..I'm glad he loves it!!LOVE YOU BABA!!

But we did celebrate a Father's Day...nothing special just had a good lunch eating an amazing Arabic cuisine...Thanks to my brother for actually belanja us on that day..(jimat duit daku...)

Okay..I am officially missing him eventhough I have just talk to him...wee~

Miss you papito....

July...

Can't wait for July!!

Why??Because I'm definitely going to spend a lot of money on this upcoming July..so sad...but yet so happy.....

And..Owh..am going to wear this gorgeous blue dress on this 17th July...on what occasion??Just wait and see okay people...

- This dress is under construction.....

This upcoming 31st July also are going to be a memorable day...one of my close fren..cik Atiqah dearie are going to be engage...I'm so excited for her and yes..plus..we are going to have fun since my Sue sayang are coming down to KL...Lets party girls!!!

July become more fun since ECLIPSE are coming in town!!I've been waiting for this movie right after I've watched NEW MOON okay...so..I'm definitely going to watch it..at least 3 times I guess....

What else I've been waiting for this July??Owhh..I've almost forget..I will be going to visit my dearest Daddy in Kuching...wee....sangat lah looking forward...I love to spend time with him...lepaking watching football with him..it is so much fun than going out dating with Bee...LOL~

Well..I'm just hoping JULY will bring me much more happiness...I'm feeling better now..I am okay now...this WORLD CUP season definitely make me happy!!how I wish I could be in SOUTH AFRICA....but one can only wish...like TOM CRUISE said in Knight's & Day; WISH IS ANOTHER WORD FOR NEVER...so don't wish..just do it!!

me and my heart we have issues...

When I am not suppose to this..but I did that...
My heart says...'Always use your brain'...but I did the opposite...

Why can I just listen to what my heart whisper?

I still

I still miss you...

I still need you....


Knowing that you have someone is hurt..but I am happy for you..because I heart you??Yes..will always do till the day I die...I don't blame you coz I know, part of it I am the one to be blame as well..but It is hurt when you said nothing about it..and you keep me in silence..serious..you hurt me badly time tuh okay....

Dear En Chocolate,
I just want to hear the reasons why all of sudden you kept me in the dark..just want to know the truth..no worries..I can handle the truth...won't ask you for 2nd chance pun okay...
And yes..please do get married as soon as possible so my heart will turn away from you..

Thank you.

M.A.L.A.S

I am super malas..

Super malas to think, super malas to care, even I am super malas to work..lately...


WHY??

SEbab I don't feel motivated to work..bluerghhh...yes..it is such a bullshit...

Maybe sebab hatiku tidak tenang lately...My heart don't feel good...as if like hatiku dipicit2 oleh sesuatu/seseorang I guess....

Why do I have to be in this 'MALAS' situation...I am not suppose to be malas..since this a crucial week for me....sigh~


I guess, this is going to be a really2 bad week for me...TAHNIAH Fatihah!!


Tomorrow we are going to face an audit team by SHELL..hopefully things are going to be okay...no more punchlist please....and hopefully things are going accordingly...no more vessel delay....amin....

And yes...hopefully BRAZIL beats N.Korea tonite..so I can sleep well...not to forget, Abg Ronaldo...I'm sorry I can't support you..since my heart goes to BRAZIL already....but I will definitely watch you tonite!!

I met them..told them...they don't like it...

After almost 6months...finally..all of us got to lepak2 and as usual..sesi luahan perasaan will efinitely bermula with them...Yes..I love to have heart to heart talk with them..because they don't judge me..but they actually listen...I love you both sampai mati okay!!

- Bobby yg gilaaaa (but I love him!!)

- Bonet yg sewellll.... (But I heart him!!)

Okay..as always..for sure they want to know about 'sum1' in my life now..being me..I hold no secrets with them..as I told them every single details...Yes..I do told them about Bee..about 'Dia'..and being them..they are always so protective..they don't want me to end up hurt. Thank you korang..thank you for all those syarahan..thank you for being mad at me..I know I deserve it.......BUT at least...I felt so relieved...because I have told korang..seriously, I am so tired to hold it on my own...

Yes...I am being stupid..I am playing with fire..I know..I will end up crash and burn..It's okay...coz I now..korang ada kan??Well..yes..I am being optimistic..because I know no matter what happen in near future..I could always rely on you guys...

Okay..enough story about me..yes..I am happy for both of you..especially Bobby..since you are so happy with Nadia..and to my beloved Bonet...seeing you okay..eventhough without Ayuni, I am happy for you...fyi, I like that girl in your phone..she is so comel and pretty...wink**

Seriously, no matter with whom you guys will end up with..I will always be happy for korang as you guys will always happy with my choice right??But to get you guys punya approval are much more difficult than to get my parent's approval...serius...so choosy kan korang..but It's ok...because korang nak pilih yg betul2 suitable for me kan??wink*

Owhh..dunia ini memang tersangat kecil as it happen I met Dart during my lepaking time with these guys..Yup...it is true..she is so pretty in person..and being dart..she is not afraid of being herself..very fashionista okay...ooo..and yes..she is quite soft spoken...and I get to snap a picture with her while her hubby out to go sumwhere...Thanks Dart..and yes..I have ur number already..later we calling2 okay..and please do take care of yourself pretty~

is HURT

I am not suppose to be hurt...but I am hurt..this is what I have to face since I am the one who asked for it..yup..I should just endure it and not complaint about it...but hey...I am just a human..a girl..who have a heart..and who can feel hurt...It is hurt no matter hard I try not to think about it and try to be cool about it..but still, knowing it make me hurt....

I use to say...I am cool with it..I don't care about it..but now, seriously I can't cope with it..because it is killing me softly...Told you Fatihah, but you won't listen to me..and now you end up hurt...thank you very much!!

How can I overcome this feeling??pretend to be okay and cool??I've done it already..but still..it is hurt...I should let it go??Yes...I should...but tell me how??I can't do it...

I need to muhasabah diri..need to look back..need to analyze this so called feeling...I need to be happy again~

Saya suka lahhh...

lovely song...lovely girl...I heart you Charice~

Bee yg busy bee~

Bee memang busy....kalah si lebah kot..3 weeks straight monitoring those pipeline yg semakin critical...(sorry to say..but this pipeline project is such a waste of money...and guess what..it is our money yg selama ini membiayai this pipeline cost ok!!)Ooopss...I have accidently terbocor kan rahsia PCSB..Sorry Bee~(Okay..will zip my mouth now..enough ramblings about your beloved pipeline)

Three weeks ago,
"Baby..I can't call you/text you for the next 48hours..will call you after I'm done.."

Two weeks ago,
"Baby..I'm going to be busy..talk to u later..."

Just now,
"Baby...I'm busy..u take care k.."


Okay...I'm cool..pretend to be cool to be exact...Three words, "Silalah pulang cepat" tak pasal2 gua jadi seorang perindu...seriously malas ok being a perindu..because I am already tired with works and now I am tired of missing you...Ooo..sangat tak suka despite having si 'Dia' yg always there for me..but still..It is not okay of missing you.....Okay takpe..I wait for you when I am not suppose to wait for you....okay I confuse...T_T

Congrats Alya~(Si gadis Pink)

Congrats to my ex-classmate!!Cik alya n hubby..Owhh...instead of 'cik' I should change it to 'puan' already...I am happy for you Alya...you are the second one to be married after Sunia..and yes, Sunia looks really happy nowadays....of course la...once dah married, rasa susah hati tu dah less since we can share it with en Hubby right??(Okay...seriously want to get married as soon as possible)

(jiranku classmateku)

(amik keberkatan kononnya)

Owhh..I love weddings...I love to see how beautiful the bride is..how sweet both of them looking in their wedding outfit..and yes..love to see their 'pelamin' so I can go home and berangan...sila la berangan cik Fatihah and keep on dreaming of your wedding yg tak tahu bila going to happen...wee~

(picture atas pelamin is wajib)

Seriously, this June is definitely a month of weddings...sumpah banyak gila wedding mak kena attend nyah!!Next week I'm going to Johor insyaallah to be at one of my dear friend's wedding...I have told Bee already....and I have told 'Dia' already...and now..I am clueless + cuakness since both seems eager to go...I am in dilemma...with whom am I supposse to go??Okay...I know..I was suppose not to tell Bee about the Johor's wedding, but terlajak perahu boleh diundur..terlajak kata..what to do??sigh~Okay...I do have to think of something later...

You've Got A way....

You've got a way with me
Somehow you got me to believe
In everything that I could be
I've gotta say you really got a way
You've got a way it seems
You gave me faith to find my dreams
Can't you see..you got a way with me

It's in the way you want me
It's in the way you hold me
The way you show me just what love's made of
It's in the way we make love

You've got a way with words
You get me smiling even when it hurts
There's no way to measure what your love is worth
I can't believe the way you get through to me

It's in the way you want me
It's in the way you hold me
The way you show me just what love's made of
It's in the way we make love

Oh, how I adore you
Like no one before you
I love you just the way you are

It's in the way you want me
It's in the way you hold me
The way you show me just what love's made of
It's in the way we make love

It's just the way you are......



Credit to Fet...when both of us are so gila bayang melayan lagu jiwangs the other nite!!Thanks Fet for actually melayan kepala ku yg gila ini......

I don't want to know......

I don't need to know the truth

keep it to yourself

I don't wanna know if you playing me

keep it on the low cause my heart can't take it anymore

And if you creeping please don't let it show cause I don't wanna know......

p/s: I don't want to know...I just want to let it flow....(I am complicated right??)

Dia dah Pulang.......

Yes..he is back...Owhh..not Bee..he is still working his ass off somewhere in the east side monitoring those pipeline..poor you Bee..how I wish I could help..but I am being helpful right??Being a good listener when you ramblings about those pipeline thingy yg sepatah haram pun I have no idea...(am not complaint)

Dia dah pulang...after more than a months working away and after weeks of holiday with his family..and now he is back in KL..and I'm going to see him esok!!Okay..yes..I am excited..especially when he called me telling that he is not feeling well since I'm on leave today...Auwww...so sweet...(dalam hati...ye2 je mamat ni...)

People must think that I'm a two timer right??It's ok..not all people could actually understand what's happening in my life kan...so I don't blame others as everyone have their own thoughts..so please use it wisely!!

Okay..enough talking here..Bee have to work tonite..selamat working Bee!!And yes..I'm going to see 'Dia' esok..spend time with him after months of waiting..wee~

It's not goodbye~Laura Pausini

Suddenly I have this thoughts.....

Finally...on 27th May 2010 at 7.15pm my lovely wan did past away...It was such a sad day for my beloved baba,since he was just on the way back to KL from Penang and suddenly he got call from his sister saying that his mother had just past away...Ooo...I feel you baba...I don't really think I could live at the thought of losing my own mother...Yes..we did fight sometimes but my mum is everything to me..(Even if she force me to marry that 'previous guy' ..yes..I will do it for you mama)Do I sound so obedient??So not Fatihah.....

But..when I do think back, yes...currently I don't really care with whom I will end up marrying with...why??Because seriously, I don't believe in LOVE anymore. Call me crazy, call me blind, call me stupid and please call me anything and yes..I have turn into this heartless little girl with no feelings towards anyone..by anyone I mean a guy. It is true I am attached with that particular someone, but I don't count on him to give me the "so called love" that he promised because I know he did something (let me say, he did a thing which I don't think a normal women would accept). Should I count on someone who did "that"??I don't think so...Well..being me, I am a complicated person who love to be in complicated situation so basically, yes..I do stick with him since he does make me happy and he does treat me well so I guess I should be with him..for now laa...

Once upon time ago, I thought life was simple...who knows...the more older we get, the more hard the life is...that is why, when they say, Life is complicated...please tell me people...what life is not complicated??even if you are a cat, your life will be complicated as well...
Talking about life will never come to an end. Since we all have life to live on, I guess the best way to have a good life is just keep on living with it, no matter how hard life is,just remember that other people might face a more complicated life than we are. As long as we have a good health and people who always around us & love us..we should cherish every moment that we had and might have in near future....

Dear me,

Life is hard..Love is hurt..because it is complicated and it hurt you that is why you chose to be in this life...so please..be strong okay~