Don't let me go..............

Some things we don't talk about
Rather do without and just hold the smile
Falling in and out of love
Ashamed and proud of, together all the while

You can never say never
While we don't know when
But time and time again
Younger now than we were before

Don't let me go
Don't let me go
Don't let me go

Don't let me go
Don't let me go
Don't let me go

Picture, you're the queen of everything
Far as the eye can see under your command
I will be your guardian when all is crumbling
I'll steady your hand

You can never say never
While we don't know when
But time, time and time again
Younger now than we were before

Don't let me go
Don't let me go
Don't let me go

Don't let me go
Don't let me go
Don't let me go

We're pulling apart and coming
Together again and again
We're growing apart but we pull it together
Pull it together, together again

Don't let me go
Don't let me go
Don't let me go

Don't let me go
Don't let me go
Don't let me go

Don't let me go
Don't let me go
Don't let me go

Don't let me go
Don't let me go
Don't let me go

It is funny..............

It is funny…bila you don’t even know who the person is..you don’t even know how he looks like..and you never know about his existence but all of sudden, he became such an important person in your life…
It is funny kan??It is weird as well…Is this a coincidence??Is this what we called a fate?Is this what it is meant to be??

I think the answer is all of the above kot…betul x??

Who is he actually??

He is someone I never thought I would fall into..

He is actually a rebound guy..(ya..typical me..I need a new guy to forget the other guy..sigh~)
He is a person I shouldn’t be involve with at the 1st place..(I’m sorry that I did..)

He is a bad boy whom I know are going to break my heart…

He is someone who clearly has a girlfriend….

He is the 2nd guy who actually get into me..

Yes..kasihan Fatihah…and padan muka to you as well Fatihah..you are the one to be blame kot..you yg mulakan dulu….

It is funny kan…a person you want the most is sum1 you can’t have..I guess this is the reason why I don’t believe that I should be in love to be in a relationship with a guy..It’s true..a relationship need love..and love itu boleh berkembang kot..secara naturally…I don’t have to be so in love with a guy to start a relationship with..as long as he makes me happy..he can take a good care of me..it is enough for me..later on..I will definitely learn how to love him..seriously, it is not hard for me to be in love with a guy pun…betul ok..mak tak tipu nyah~

It is funny…despite all the bad things/hurtful stuff he did to me…I still accept him…I still can’t get over him…well itu la CINTA kan??

It is funny…no matter how hurt I am…still I did answer all his calls and reply all his texts…why?sebab CINTA laaa…..

It is funny..when you are actually realized all these things…but you still can’t get yourself out of this mess…kenapa??CINTA punya pasal laaa….

It is funny..when you tell the whole world how hurt you are..but still you are doing that same mistakes over and over again…..

So..when are you going to stop??Sumpah..I have no idea…I am badly hurt..but I guess..I love to be hurt rather than feel nothing at all…Sumpah…I want it to stop…but I don’t have the guts to do so….

Dear you,

It is hurt to be your No.2…but I can’t lose you..not now…not just yet…
No worries..I won’t ask you for anything.not now..not in any near future…
It is not funny now..when I’m actually missing you and knowing that I can’t have you…

Yours truly,

Fatihah..

Perfect Nightmare~

Sometimes we fight
Sometimes I cry
Why don't I
Just tell him goodbye
Sometimes I should
But sometimes I don't
Build up the strength to
Say that it's wrong
Sometimes I hate
Sometimes I love
Sometimes I hurt
Sometimes I don't
Sometimes I wait
For him to change
But it's okay
I've disguised the pain

And I don't ever wanna leave him alone
They say i'm brainwashed but i'm in love with this man
Yeah~

Keep telling myself that it's not worth it
I already know I don't deserve it
But if it's from you I don't mind hurting
This is my perfect nightmare
So when will I wake up and scream

No way (x7)
But if it's from you I don't mind hurting
This is my perfect nightmare
Perfect nightmare

Don't be nice to a guy

It is Monday and I am doomed…yup..Monday blues..am not really into work. How I wish I could just sleep for another more hour….but obviously I can’t..I need to work..to put foods on the table (so not true…I just want to be a bit sarcastic today)LOL~

It is Monday…I know there a lot of works to be done..but I am so freaking lazy…I have made few calls but no one seems to answer my calls…so I am quite not in the mood now…haihs~
I was supposed to go up and see one of the big bosses but apparently he is not in the office...there goes my mood...

As usual, once I’m up there haruslah go & visit one of my girls cik S..Fyi, I love her new hair do..she looks young/fresh & trendy with her new hair..I like!!

Well basically, both of us are not close but we are nice towards each other and since she is cool/friendly/fun to be with so we are comfortable with each other. We love to talk to each other and sometimes share few stuff. It happen today, suddenly we have this talk on guys. She asked me, do I’m actually in a relationship with sum1?what kind a guy I was into?Well, am not speechless actually since I have all the answers if ppl were to ask me this sort of question..(am not trying to sound ‘berlagak’ but it’s true..I did have the answers..LOL)

Am I in a relationship with anyone?
My answer is, No I am not in a relationship with anyone or been exclusively with sum1 but I do date sum1. Okay??satisfied?

What kind a guy I was into?
My answer is, I am so into confident guy. A guy with confident is everything. Confident make a guy sexy, attractive and no words can describe how incredibly gorgeous a guy is when he is confident.

Seriously, I have been in love with a confident guy before, it was nice but things did not work out but I blame no one but myself. Why? BECAUSE I WAS TOO NICE TO HIM~

Yup..this is me…am always being nice to a guy. At the end of the day, I’m the one who suffer..congratulation!!

Back to my conversation with cik S, when I told her about the guy I’ve been dating with…immediately she told me…” Babe..I’m not saying that I have lots of experience with guys but one thing I do learn from my previous relationship is, don’t be nice to a guy”. Okay…I was like..I was always nice to a guy, I always let a guy to control me, I always let my feelings take control of myself….sigh~

Yes, this is the ugly truth..when we are nice to a guy, they tend to take advantage of that situation. Trust me,It is easy for a woman to love but it is not easy for a guy to actually be in love.

So girls, DON’T BE NICE

Lelaki with money...

It is true...women adore guys with money....we are not talking about few hundreds ok girls...but you know..a totally rich guy...Ya...I do admit..sometimes I wish I cud marry a rich guy..(in my dreams anyway...berangan nk kahwin with Cristiano Ronaldo laa...)

But what do actually those rich guys are looking for??Do you think they really care on how good a WOMEN cooking skills are??Or..perhaps...do they even care if you can actually spoke 5 differents language??Well..guess what...NO...they don't really give a damn about those things..because, all they want is..all they need is...for us WOMEN to succumbs will their needs...
Yup..dunia ini mmg kejam..lets face it..this is life..they don't care about our inner quality if you don't have that outside beauty...BETUL TAK??

Okay..money is important..seriously..I cant imagine my life without them..call me a mata duitan..I don't care..am not trying to be hypocrite here...but still money can't buy love..money can't buy happiness....so..please do remind me again..why am I actually need money??
Owhh..ya...I need money to buy new shoes/heels, new bags, new clothes, and what else...you know men, women have lots of needs...and it's always going to cost you guys...sorry~

But..I am truly happy with myself...despite of my craziness towards money, I never did physco any guys to spent their money on me...unless..if they want too...you know guys..when they want you, they willing to spent on you..typical la kan....

Dang..it's near 12am...and I have to work esok..to meet those rich guys...need to catch up with you later gadis kecil....

To be continue then..........

Kerja~

My so called job


I love my job..there is no doubt…who wont?It is hard to be in this industry actually but once you are in, it is good for your future…it’s true….

I learn a lot here..I truly do…which I am very grateful for it..who knows, nowadays I can actually talk about it..lol~

But…there is always sort of the ugly side of it..am not complaint.but, it is something I guess ppl shud know or ppl shud be aware of..it is the reality of life I guess…and it is not pretty…

Well, working in such a big industry in such a big organization (not as big as Petronas) you will actually see/experience lots of things…you will know a lot types of ppl..which is very interesting…I love ppl,I love to make new friends,senang cerita…I love my colleagues laaa….but…not all ppl are nice..it is true right??no matter where & when, mean ppl are everywhere ok..and you need to know how to handle them with care..betul tak??(well…we have too..)

Okay..back to the main thing, let me just say….sometimes ppl are using you for the sake of their benefits..maybe for the sake of the organization it self..or maybe for their own personal benefit…Umm..Do I make it sound complicated??

Okay fine..to tell you the truth..I am tired of being used..why??by whom??
Let me just say…when you are a woman, you are going to be use so that things will get more simpler..more easy..and the work itself are easily done…thank you~

Owh..by whom??well….like Nabil said,”lu pk la sendiri”…

So, the moral of the story is…..seriously,I have no idea…but what I did is, you just have to defend yourself…ok..take care!!

Hari ini warga OFFSHORE gembira~

Kami happy!!


Terima kasih OFFSHORE WORKS~


End of the year kasi kami lagi okay!!


**sdg membuat budget......dgn happy~weeeee..............

This Raya

This Raya.....


I am so humble at my own preparation...err...are you sure Fatihah??

Well..I guess..I am a bit humble laa...I onle had one baju kurung, one raya handbag, & one raya heels...okay la kan....not too many compared to last year right??(am trying to sedapkan hati sendiri)

This Raya.....

I did bought 2 sets of butang baju melayu...finally...not very good at choosing one..but I'm glad I bought it..

This Raya......

I spent a lot on kuih raya....I loike....I love to eat...so..I have no regrets when it comes to foods...(not like you kan bee...you don't like to spend much on foods..luckily si 'Dia' share the same passions with me..thank you~)

This Raya......

am going to give duet raya...as usual...but unfortunately, it's going cost me...so much...am not complaint....I am so happy to give away my money....sumpah...I xtipu!!


This Raya.....

I am not going to share it with En Cokelat...ya..it's pretty sad..but...life goes on..so I'm cool~


This Raya......

will be just like other raya before...I am still the same old me...perhaps next year..I'm going to celebrate it with a special someone...yes..you make me laugh..you make me happy~thank you....

just a dream............

I was thinking about her..thinking bout' me..thinking bout' us....

what we were going to be??

is living in a dream world.....

Am I okay?

I guess I am okay...I am having a double life..living in a lie??
Ya....perhaps I am...but for how long??think2...

If people ask me??are you okay with a life like this??

Before this, seriously...I have no answer...but now...I do...

My answer is, Yes..I am okay with it...in fact, I'm cool with it...

Is it tough??No..it is not...but you have to be smart...I guess..I am pretty smart kn??(but not for long)


Lie??how long we can actually keep lying to others??Sooner or later, the truth will come out...

You know what....am happy to say...I am really looking forward to be caught red handed...maybe then I am absolutely okay...

people say...careful on what you wish for....you might end up hurt at the end of the day...but maybe that's what I'm looking for....


Haha..I am officialy weng tonite....

p/s: please check your phone....am tired of waiting....

I have 2, so I buy 2 sets of it...

I never thought in million years I cud be this cruel..but here I am...being cruel...to you & you...am really sorry....


Therefore..for raya, instead of just 1 set of butang baju melayu...I have to buy 2 sets of butang baju melayu... A

sounds fair right??

Once again...I'm sorry...I have too...what to do??I have TWO...


I see you next week okay...and I see you next week too.....

sigh~

what do you want from me??

what do you want from me??

Eika soon to be Mrs Rico....

On 31st July....she is officially engage to Rico!!

happy for you sweetheart...you are the 1st among us to be engage...Ya..we are happy to you..but deep down...of course lah ade sedikit rasa envy right??hehe~envy sbb you have found your truly mate..sum1 yg you are going to spend the rest of your life with...Owhh..not now ya dear...next year on OCT 2011...then both of you are officially Mr & Mrs Rico!!Can't wait for the big day!!

Here some of the recaps...I miss you girls badly...

-Sue all the way from Sabah-



-Us with Eika-



- Kerana cake ini, both me & eika got lost -

Fatihah jadi bridesmaid~

I never thought that sum1 could actually ask me to be her 'pengapit'...but sum1 actually did...

Thank you Chicy...at last...I can wear a dress...wee~


Here some of the pictures to share...I do think I look a bit fat in this dress...ye ke??maybe perasaan ku kot....


-----> with Iman comel!!!


-----> ofismates~


-----> Pengapit tired...heels tinggi sgt...

Talking about puasa.......

When we are talking about puasa..1st thing yg akan pop up in my mind would be..bulan ramadhan...Ya..where we have to restrain our self from everything..not just foods & drinks..but fasting is about berpuasa from head to toe...internally & externally...but..can we really do it?

When ramadhan came, syaitan akan diikat....I suppose..people will do lots of goods rather than bads kn??unfortunately...things are the same.....so..should we blame syaitans for all the bad things we've done before??Umm...I guess...manusia itu sendiri adalah syaitan kot....Or is nafsu to be blame??

It is easy to be bad..but it is hard to be good...every single year...I am trying to be good..but do I try hard enough??My answer is no, I'm not...sebab nafsu always menerajui akal...sebab selalu nak jugak buat things yg not only memakan diri..but I'm end up hurt.....

Susah rupanya nak jadi baik(for me kot...)....To be bad??well..I'm getting better at it....

I need to be good...I need guidance....

apa2 pun..selamat berpuasa to all Muslim out there..may Allah bless us always!!

Sakit hati ke kecil hati??

I don't think my heart can be hurt anymore...kecil hati?Yes..I always will..tapi untuk sakit hati??
mungkin tidak??sebab..I dah penat sakit..

Kenapa I sakit hati?Sebab I ask for it kot..ya..I did ask for it...

From month to month..I want it to be over..but I can't...maybe I can..but I dont want to...

just like Rihanna said, "I like the way it hurt and I love the way you lie"

Ya...I love the way you lie....

I know..you never lied to me..not even once..you always menjaga hati I..

I know..you tak pernah pun nak sakit kan hati I..but I am hurting my own self...

I know..you have to lie to her instead of me kan??I am your 'kekasih gelap' but you never did hide me in every way..

Deep down...I am kecil hati..kecil sangat...everytime you call..you text..yes..I am happy..

sebab I tahu..you still remember me..you tak pernah pun tinggal kan I..(eventho..I have thought of leaving you..so many time...)

Tapi...I kecil hati..sebab...I am not the 1st on your list..I am always be the 2nd one..ya..sad to admit..I am your back up...betul tak??

Currently..I am kecil hati with you..why??sebab you are not here with me...sebab I can't see you now...sebab I need you now...sigh~

I miss you bad.....thank you buat I kecil hati..

Good girl gone bad~

You ask for it..

Easy for a good girl to go bad, and once we gone bad..best believe we gone forever...

(I heart this song!!)

My Mama said....

This morning..I had a long talk with my mum...

We are talking about guys..yes..we do talk about our feelings..share knowledge about guys..since I guess my mum know a lot about them than I do kot..I love having this kind of conversation with mama..eventho I am very close with my dad than mama..but still, when it comes to girls talk..I always turn to mama..I am lucky to have you..kan mama??LOVE YOU MAMA~

This morning mama said,

mama: When am I going to get a menantu??your frens mostly da engage...when is ur turn??when r u goin to knl kan mama to that special sum1??

me: Ooo..please not this question again...you keep on asking the same question ok...all I can say..one day mama...(whom am I suppose to knl kan to u mama??Bee??in ur dream...)

mama: What kind a guy yg u r looking for??Don't be too choosy ok...

me: am not choosy...but I do have to choose sum1 yg can take a good care of me kn...marriage is a gamble..so I have to choose right...

mama: Well...no one knows..what future holds..we have to create our own future..when I first met ur baba...I never know that he is the one...but I have to make a decision..Do I really want to spend the rest of my life with him??Alhamdulillah..it turn out to be great for me...eventho I'm not really in love with him when I first met him...but I am proud to say now..I am truly madly deeply in love with him....So you see here...you don't have to be in love with a guy to marry him...but you have to see and to know..whether he has that husband quality or not...love will always be there...it is not that hard to fall in love...(So true...I am easily in love sumtimes...)

me: (terlopong)sdg contemplate all the words...

mama: You see here...there is lots of guys out there...to choose??who the hell are we to choose??just have faith...pray to ALLAH..one day..that special sum1 will come...

me: (dlm hati...ya..I am so tired of suffering...what's done is done..enough...)

See...why am I making things complicated sdgkan..it is easy as ABC...kuatkan hati..have faith...pray a lot...things are going to fall into place...^_^

You are so yesterday~

You are so yesterday??So not true..yes I am mad at you now..but I know..once u call me esok..everything going to be okay...and I'm going to end up lepaking with you just like the other days...betul kan??

Yes..am not that strong to walk away..not just yet..one day okay??just hold on tight...I'm cool..you are cool with it..so..we just wait and see..I know you don't want know..and I don't want to know about it as well..just let us hurt each other n love each other as we always did..

Good luck

Sometimes

Sometimes the least expected person can actually came back into our life kan??

Sometimes we tend to make mistake over n over again....

Sometimes we just won't listen to what people keeps telling us...

Sometimes the world is against us...but still it won't stop us to do things we want...

Sometimes life is unfair...

Sometimes people are so judgemental...

Sometimes I wish I can escape life....

Sometimes it is better this way..

Sometimes forget sounds good..but I can't...

Sometimes I don't like to think..but I did....

And lots of time, LOVE hurts..BIG TIME!!

It makes me wonder..who need LOVE when OXYGEN is much more important??


I know...Sometimes I think too much..more than I should...okay..Brain shut down please.....