It's not goodbye~Laura Pausini

Suddenly I have this thoughts.....

Finally...on 27th May 2010 at 7.15pm my lovely wan did past away...It was such a sad day for my beloved baba,since he was just on the way back to KL from Penang and suddenly he got call from his sister saying that his mother had just past away...Ooo...I feel you baba...I don't really think I could live at the thought of losing my own mother...Yes..we did fight sometimes but my mum is everything to me..(Even if she force me to marry that 'previous guy' ..yes..I will do it for you mama)Do I sound so obedient??So not Fatihah.....

But..when I do think back, yes...currently I don't really care with whom I will end up marrying with...why??Because seriously, I don't believe in LOVE anymore. Call me crazy, call me blind, call me stupid and please call me anything and yes..I have turn into this heartless little girl with no feelings towards anyone..by anyone I mean a guy. It is true I am attached with that particular someone, but I don't count on him to give me the "so called love" that he promised because I know he did something (let me say, he did a thing which I don't think a normal women would accept). Should I count on someone who did "that"??I don't think so...Well..being me, I am a complicated person who love to be in complicated situation so basically, yes..I do stick with him since he does make me happy and he does treat me well so I guess I should be with him..for now laa...

Once upon time ago, I thought life was simple...who knows...the more older we get, the more hard the life is...that is why, when they say, Life is complicated...please tell me people...what life is not complicated??even if you are a cat, your life will be complicated as well...
Talking about life will never come to an end. Since we all have life to live on, I guess the best way to have a good life is just keep on living with it, no matter how hard life is,just remember that other people might face a more complicated life than we are. As long as we have a good health and people who always around us & love us..we should cherish every moment that we had and might have in near future....

Dear me,

Life is hard..Love is hurt..because it is complicated and it hurt you that is why you chose to be in this life...so please..be strong okay~

you

Dear You,

I do care...but I pretend not to...

Dear You,

I am ego..because of you...

Dear You,

Maybe tomorrow I will start to talk to you again..


Thank you...

I share it with her~

My life is complicated but I don't really share it with everyone. Why??Because, not everyone can actually understand me...Yes..call me crazy..but I love being in complicated situation...Why??Because, life is not about being perfect sometimes the imperfect make your life colourful..

I know..I don't really love to talk about my private life nowadays..Why??Because, people don't actually listen but they judge other people as well...

But I do share things with this girl..Why??Because she don't judge but she actually listen..

Thanks babe~

thanks for being a good listener!!

We eat & eat & eat.....

A day where we spent time together..updating all new stories...especially on our beloved Fidal..who is going to get engage within a week!!Congrats to our beloved Fidal...wow...never thought you were going to be the 1st one among us...huu~

-wif Fidal (a tunang org to be)-

I was accidently bought a new shirt..damn!!


It was a day where we ate a lot...and for the first time in my life..I do spent a lot on foods...nice~

We ate at Sushi King then Tony's Roma and having our tea time at DELICIOUS~(WOW..org kaya makan...)

- Us @ DELICIOUS -

p/s: Looking forward to see them........

I Pretend

Pretend to be okay..


Pretend to be cool..


Pretend to be understanding


But seriously, I am not okay, I am not cool, I am not a very understanding person....


I try to..but I can't...I can't pretend anymore..It's killing me softly bee~

Ooo..dear Heart...keras please...please make my heart stone for bee...


p/s: Looking forward to see Mady...;))

Tired!!

I am tired of feeling this way.....


I am tired to try......


I am tired to care.....


I am tired to live in a lie.....


I am tired of pretending......


The truth is..I am tired + tired + tired....


-To be continued...........

Keep on Judging & talking

People love to talk...so keep on talking people......

People love to judge..eventhough they don't even have a clue....so please..keep on judging people....


Dear people,

I am not mad...I don't hate you people...I know..you guys are too concern about me I guess..that's why you people talking/judging me right??

So..please...go ahead talking/judging..I am being me as always...but Just so you people know...people around you are actually talking about you too..so before you start talking/judging other people..look around you...are you sure that they are not talking/judging you??

Think people!!

Kenapa??

Kenapa perlu ada rasa jealous??


Kenapa perlu ada rasa sakit hati??


Kenapa perlu marah??


Kenapa & kenapa & kenapa.....

saya sepatut buat bodoh sahaja...hati oh hati..keras please....

Love you mama..Happy mothers day!!

For u mama....lots of hugs & kisses!!

I am here because of you

Out of the blue......Suddenly....

Suddenly...I felt so alone...eventho yes...I do have Jejaka PCSB...but things are too complicated between us...sigh~


Suddenly I was thinking about you En Chocolate...and yes...sad to say...I've been dreaming of you last nite eventho I was suppose to dream of Jejaka PCSB....


Suddenly I miss you En Chocolate....I know I shudnt feel this way..but what to do..feeling is something that we have no control...it happen..that's why people say..LOVE happens~


Okay2...focus2...tamau emotional...maybe I shud call Jejaka PCSB to take my mind of En Chocolate......


Okay nite...


p/s: will always miss you En chocolate..but we were never meant to be together~

I promise I won't ignore you..

From now on..I promise...I won't ignore you.....

No matter what..no matter how...okay..I will be there for you...(until when??)

I know...it is tough for me...but what shud I do??The more I stay away...the more close you came to me..So I guess...it won't do any good for us..I shud just let you in my life...sigh~

Always telling myself that I won't fall for you..but I'm afraid...lama-lama I will fall for you kot...but I tamau....I know..it won't do me any good if I'm with you....please2...hati keras...feeling2 go away~

Both of us are way to far of being just friend...betul tak??sigh~

Okay....just let it happen.....

Dulu & Now

Dulu.....

I use to say....'Owhh...I won't compete on guy'....

Now....

I'm proud to say...unfortunately I have to compete with her and her and her....to get his attention...sigh~


Seriously not happy with it....I rather compete in term of works or studies..but please people...I am not going to compete on guys!!!!!Gila sadis........

Yes..I'm not ready to compete...even sampai bila2 pun..yes..I won't compete....To you girls...please....take him...take him away from me...And you cik perempuan, you don't have to perli2 me....I know you feel so tergugats...so please save all your worries...he is all yours..


Thank you very much....


p/s: Owhhh...he just text me...what am I suppose to do cik perempuan??your so called Bf were looking for me..Why huh??Please take a good care of your So called Bf okay....wink**

We break each other's heart nak??

Current obssession....wink**

I think2 laaaa.....

I think kan.......


Org itu still looking for me laaa....but maybe he is to afraid to approach me....


I think kan....


Org itu still care about me..but he don't know how to show it.....


I think kan.....


Org itu want to settle things with me...but he is too afraid to start kot....


I tell you laa....kepada org itu....enough is enough...things happen already...Ya..mostly it is ur fault..because..you make me suffer....but still..I am not going to put all the blame on you because things happen for a reason...and part of it, maybe it is a test from god to me...'Life is like a wheel' you are not always going to be on top....now I'm going to keep smiling and cherish all the things I have...........

CHiLLex okay~

I have failed today.....sigh~

Yes...I have failed!!!

Planning to be sombong...planning to buat bodoh...but then..I end up spending time with you.....Owhh...I am so gilaaaa.......why O why Fatihah??

I was supposed to be chill...I was suppose to stay strong...but when you called....suddenly I can hear myself telling you..."Okay...I see you later.."Haihs~What la you??Can't even stay strong even for a day??Seriously gilaaaa......

I need to be kuat....I need a divertion!!Okay..maybe I shud start going out with other guys...What About DD guy??What about En Surveyor??Okay...please make up your mind Fatihah!!!

Okay peace!!

is Currently hurt and stupid...but I do think you are going to hurt her more..

In office..during lunch hour...feeling hurt...but not that hurt...hurt when I know..what had happen during the weekend...thanks to you..you didn't tell me anything..but I did know some how...and yes..it's hurt...when I have to swallow everything painfully....but I'm cool..as I promise to be cool no matter what..and I won't show how hurt I am in front of you..damn~


Call me stupid...yes..I am so stupid for letting you do this to me...but, what am I suppose to do bee??when I left you...you came to me...when I'm invisible...you keep searching for me??why me??what do you want from me??Yes...I can give you love...I can hug you when you sad..I can be your listener...but...what I am for you??


I wish I cud pity her..but I'm not...because..I do think she deserve it..I mean, she should know you better than me right??But it happen, I know you better...I know how bad are you..I know what kind a guy are you..Or perhaps..maybe you are a good actor..maybe you fake all your move with her..but why??You once said...'I haven't found sum1 who I can actually commit with..'wtf??then why are you still with her??Guess...at the end of the days...she's going to get hurt more deep than I do...since I know you...

Seriously, I happy to say...I'm going with the flow with you..but am not going to be with you always....one day I'm gone....

I'm heartless.....

I can't believe that I am this cool...wow~

(yaa....me smiling...and will keep on smiling....)

Seriously...I can't believe my self....I can't quite figure..how on earth that I suddenly become so strong..so damn tabah when I know the real 'him'..THE REAL SITUATION....knowing how it works between us??

Wow.....amazingly...I was smiling...and it happen...I'm not shocked..as if like I knew it was coming...gila2~

Sumpah...I was so cool...when he say those words...when he told me the truth.....I can even laugh with him...Call me GILA..but seriously I'm not mad at him....and I can even accept it!!

It's okay....maybe hari ini hari you...siapa tahu hari esok hari I.....and yes...maybe I am cool now...we will see...how cool are you when I'm about to do the same things you do...okay u~

Next level???

(hanya hiasan semata-mata)

Ya...we are in the next level/phase......

A stage where..'kentut pun wangi'.....'pijak semut pun tak mati'.....and yes..we were happy....but..for how long???Seriously avoiding this question......

It's okay....I just want to enjoy myself in this happy stage..a stage where I'm actually floating....please be strong wahai hati ku yg comel.....wink**

Currently in the mode of romantikus almost every single nite...been dreaming the same old tune...a tune when I was in romantikus mode with En chocolate...Please dear Hati...Don't keep falling..Hati keras please.........

Your Song..................

It's a little bit funny this feeling inside I'm not one of those who can easily hide I don't have much money but boy if I did I'd buy a big house where we both could live
If I was a sculptor, but then again, nOr a man who makes potions in a travelling show I know it's not much but it's the best I can do My gift is my song and this one's for you
And you can tell everybody this is your song It may be quite simple but now that it's done I hope you don't mind I hope you don't mind that I put down in words How wonderful life is while you're in the world
I sat on the roof and kicked off the moss Well a few of the verses well they've got me quite cross But the sun's been quite kind while I wrote this song It's for people like you that keep it turned on
So excuse me forgetting but these things I do You see I've forgotten if they're green or they're blue Anyway the thing is what I really mean Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen....

Untuk...???