Sakit Kepala

Earlier I do mention that I want to rambling about bola but I guess I save it for later kot. I think I want to share a bit on my current self status. Owhh..not that *status* ya...but my current health status.


It has been few months since I start having this so called morning headace. When I first encounter it, I thought it was normal due to a low blood which is I do actually tend to have it since 2009. I guess, kindly blame my lack of vitamins in my body kot. I thought it is a one time only but all of sudden this sakit kepala thing tend to be quite frequent lately. It started on March then again in early May I did encounter it and last week again I did have twice morning headache. This is starting to scare me as I never encounter such headache yg dah quite prolong.

Last week I started to googling some facts on morning headache. What I found is, a morning headache can also lead to a brain tumor. Okay...so, by knowing the fact I was taken aback!! I swear I was a bit upset since I can't imagine my self having such disease kot. I can't even stand a fever, so how am I suppose to cope with thing like this (if and only if it is true). Sedih???Tuhan sahajalah yg tahu apa yg saya rasa. But eventually I have actually skip the part where it says that brain tumor is a rare cases as most of the morning headache is actually due to stress, wrong sleeping pillow, and normally it is due to lack of oxygen inside the brain itself. Okay, now I can feel a bit relieved. But I am still worried. Bukan apa, normally when I had a morning headache, my head seems to be spinning around and I can't be okay unless I puke. Throwing up does make my head better but it won't cure my morning headache. Risau + takut + what am I dealing with??

Currently, I am taking a medicine called Beta-Serc for inbalance purpose because everytime I had my headache, I tend to be so inbalance. Base on wikipedia, a long time use of this medicine may cause me some side effects where I can be too dependent on it and I can always have this headache. This is what I don't want but I have to take it for the sake of body balancing. I do not want to depend on any painkillers because I was afraid of their side effects. For all I know, painkiller does stop the pain but it can actually slower your heart rate. *hurmmm*

When to talk about head, my biggest fear is a brain cancer. Ya, I am afraid to die..who doesn't?? But what I'm afraid the most is, can I cope with such disease??Can I accept it??Can I live knowing that my life percentage might be lower than 50%??*takut* Fine, maybe I am overthinking about it, but I can't help it..I am a bit controlled when it come to my life and I tend to think and care too much. What to do??

For all I know, not all cancers patient are going to end up died. I do know, there are two types of cancer..one is malignant and the other one is benign. If one is facing the malignant cancer, it 50 - 90% curable but the benign cancer has below 50% chances to make it alive. The causes of brain cancer is a mutation cell inside the brain itself where it can result to a pembentukan tumor. Some said, it is an inherited disease and other opinion do said that handphones use can also lead into it. *hurmm*

Maybe I am a bit way over thinking/analyzing about it kan??maybe saya sepatutnya lebih chill and berdoa byk2 minta dijauhkan. Entahlah....but I do realized one thing, sakit itu dekatkan diri kita dengan tuhan, sakit itu mengajar kita untuk lebih menghargai hidup dan sakit itu buat kita lebih kuat.

For that, I pray...Takpelah...I read a quote the other day, it says...when god gives you pain or hurt, thank HIM instead, HE knows better...perhaps ada hikmah disebalik kejadian. Jika itu yg tersurat untukku, redhalah bukannya pasrah. Hold your head high and smile.